“When we talk about the birth process, dads discover what it means to really be there for their partner. You don’t need to know every detail about what happens in labor or get a degree in obstetrics. Being present means you’re there to fully share the birth experience with your partner. In concrete terms it means you talk to her, comfort her, reassure her, stay beside her throughout labor (if that’s what she wants), and respond to her requests.” –Babycenter.com
We LOVE this! Why should partners/dad’s be left out with everything from the birthing process? When honestly, they are one of the most important people on the team and should feel confident on their stance in the room! This is exactly why we cover so much on how partners play a key role in the birth you both envisioned together. In our prenatal classes we practice hands on techniques, we chat about tips and specific ways that dad’s can comfort, support and love on their birthing women. It’s a beautiful thing to see this partnership working together to welcome their baby into the world.
What things did your partner do to help you feel connected and confident during your birth?
Prenatal classes in Abbotsford and Chilliwack are offered every month by our expert team of instructors! We have the skills, knowledge and humor to make you feel ready for birth!
The postpartum period after a baby is born can often be an exciting but lonely time for new and seasoned mothers. In many eastern cultures this is the time that family and friends surround the new mother and ensure that she is well rested, well fed, allowing the mother to focus on her bonding and healing. Western Society however does not seem to celebrate this postpartum period so fondly called the “4th trimester”.
So what can we do to help a mother feel blessed, celebrated, and taken care of?
Bring a meal to Her
There is nothing like a hot homemade meal to nourish the soul and body. Providing a meal for her family can sometimes be a daunting task right after she has birthed a babe. Call and prearrange with the family a time for you to bring by a meal, if someone is bringing dinner, offer to bring a lunch or a breakfast. Make sure you momma knows that you simply want to drop of the meal, no visiting is required. A Basket filled of fresh fruit, crackers, granola bars and muffins makes snacking throughout the day easy specially if there are other littles running around.
Offer Her a helping hand
As a new mom one of the things that was the biggest help for me was when a good friend came over and told me to go have a hot shower and sleep. Knowing that someone was coming over and I didn’t have to have my best foot forward and “entertain” was such a relief. An uninterrupted nap and a hot shower is a great pick- me- up for mothers.
Run errands for Her
If you are planning on running errands for yourself, send a quick text asking if she needs anything picked up while you are out.
Take Her children out for the day
When there are other children in the family, it’s nice for momma and kids to have a “day off”. Set up a date where you can take the older kids out so she can focus on babe and be able to rest or putter around the house without everyone under foot. The older siblings will also enjoy a day off.
Simply Respect Her wishes
This is a hard one. It’s exciting when a new member of the family has arrived, we all want to get in those newborn snuggles as much as a possible. Often we forget about how sacred the first few months are with a newborn are and how exhausting visitors can be. If you are wanting to stop by for a quick visit , simply call or text ( texting is usually the way to go just in case momma and babe are having a nap and the noise wont interrupt that precious rest time) asking mom if she’s up for a visit. If she is great keep the visit short and sweet. If the response is no, just leave it at that. Don’t put extra pressure on momma asking when a good time would be, the first few weeks are a day by day evaluation.
Love Her from afar
If you are unable to be with her due to distance, send her an amazon package full of nourishing snacks or diapers and wipes, hire a house cleaner for her, order take out and have it delivered, offer to pay for her Netflix account for all those late night feedings. It’s really amazing what ideas you’ll find with a simple google search.
When it comes down to it, we all want to make sure momma and babe are being taken care of and not overwhelmed. Helping her doesn’t have to be complicated, it does however have to be intentional. We want her to feel loved, and cared for; anything you do will allow her to have the time and space she needs for rest, healing, and bonding. Know any new mommas or mommas to be? Send a quick text, facebook message and ask how you can best support them during this beautiful time.
Heidi, Client Care Specialist , Yellow Bird Birth Inc.
Are You Prepared?
We LOVE providing Abbotsford & Chilliwack with our long running Prenatal Intensive Classes! For years we have taught hundreds of couples the must know and basics of birth. It’s important to us that expecting couples feel prepared, have their questions answered and get some hands on techniques to walk into their birth feeling confident and in control. That’s you! You could feel confident and in control, knowing how to ask the right questions to make all your decisions (for all kinds of birth) that are right for your family.
We know people don’t have a lot of time these days which is exactly why we created a program covering all the basics in just 3 hours for an affordable price to be able to welcome everyone. Our instructors are not only trained but have hands on experience in birth and postpartum as doulas and personal experience with their own pregnancies. That’s the bonus! We share stories, laugh together and help you to feel supported and prepared.
We’d love to have you join us for one of our upcoming classes.
“The hardest part for my husband I think was not having me around. Being a full time dad. He is a provider so not earning any money brought feeling like he wasn’t providing for his family was hard for sure. He had to sacrifice that a lot those years.
I spend a lot more time alone in Canada than I did in the Philippines. We just live with the 4 of us in the house as opposed to the 20 people rotating in and out so there’s a lot more isolation here. There is also a lot less fear involved in the first year here. I’m finding I have a lot less to worry about with her. In the Philippines death is so common in the first year, it’s so common. That’s why you never celebrate the birth, only the first birthday. So for my son being born in the Philippines, we came from a culture where of course we would celebrate the birth but they didn’t. It just is known that a lot of babies die. So in Canada now there’s this excitement around her that wasn’t there with my son. Because here people expect them to live, and usually they do. It the rural areas, maybe 30-40% don’t make it to their first birthday. Probably most of those are before 6 months.”
Yellow Bird Birth Series
Fraser Valley’s Premier Doula Group providing everything you need for your BEST birth and postpartum!
Breastfeeding Support Has Arrived!
Yellow Bird Birth is beyond excited to introduce Sharina Kim, our newest member of the team!
Let’s get to know this lovely woman!
I am a wife and mother of (soon to be) two. I love baking, organizing things, going for walks, and chatting with women. When I encountered breastfeeding challenges after my first baby was born, I desperately wanted someone to come alongside me to guide and encourage. Without this help, I found myself trying to figure it out on my own. My personal experience inspired me to become educated in breastfeeding support to guide and care for women in these unique moments of life. In my work, I focus on evidence-based information and guiding women to achieve their own goals for breastfeeding. I visit women in their homes to assess their unique situation, offer personalized suggestions to help them meet their breastfeeding goals, and point them to resources as appropriate. Common issues I assist with include ineffective latch, nipple and breast pain, engorgement, low milk supply, overabundant milk supply, slow weight gain, flat and inverted nipples, pumping and hand expression, returning to work, and weaning.
Contact Yellow Bird Birth today to discuss how Sharina can help you meet your goals!
-Amanda & Jaclyn
Fraser Valley’s Premier Doula Group providing everything you need for your BEST birth and postpartum!
The Crazy of Tandem Nursing
Happy World Breastfeeding Week!!! I would love to share with you my adventure in breastfeeding, more specifically, what tandem nursing has looked like in my life and in my children’s.
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. I was encouraged by an amazing network of experienced mamas who supported me and my choice to breastfeed my first, even before I had her. Our nursing relationship started within the first hour of her birth and besides the first two weeks of constantly being latched (and the discomfort that came with that), our relationship grew and progressed very positively. I only once didn’t have enough milk, and that’s because I didn’t pump enough before leaving on an anniversary trip with my husband. But my sisters, who thankfully were also both breastfeeding their babies, shared some milk they had stored up and I had an amazing weekend away.
I had the goal of nursing to two years old, but that was more of a milestone than an end date.
Fast forward to having a nursing toddler and being pregnant with my son. I didn’t realize it, but my milk supply pretty much dried up. I had never heard the term “dry nursing” until recently, but that is what my daughter was doing. I was a bit sore and had to set boundaries and cut feedings short now and then because I was uncomfortable, but I still enjoyed nursing throughout my pregnancy and wasn’t ready to give it up.
When my son was born, my colostrum came in, then my milk came back with full force…..ouch! The first month of tandem nursing was tough. The first few weeks after birth are generally no walk in the park, but adjusting to life with two nursing children left me exhausted and an emotional mess. My daughter started acting like her two year old self, tantruming daily, demanding my milk and attention constantly. I felt guilty every time I had to tell her to wait for milkies or cuddles. My son was pretty easy and loved sleeping on his own, what a blessing that was, and he always was the priority to feed, change, and sleep! But I was in a constant state of planning the next feeds and naps and meals for my daughter and I, stressing about the crying fits…from all three of us!
Then I had an epiphany. I realized if I stopped nursing my daughter that day, she would be completely fine. If I ended our nursing relationship, that would be 100% okay for both of us. We had 2 amazing years, and she is a well adjusted, securely attached, and healthy 2 year old who knows she is loved and cared for! There would be no negatives (besides the initial emotions) for either of us, there actually would be some positives for me! So I decided I would stop nursing her, and be okay with it, whenever I chose.
Terms like Extended Breastfeeding, Child Led Weaning, and Tandem Nursing filled my Facebook newsfeed daily, and I used to feel like I wasn’t a good enough mom unless I made those things happen. But I got real with myself and my family needs. My daughter didn’t NEED to be breastfeeding and I didn’t NEED to nurse her. We would be okay.
Suddenly the pressure was off. I gave myself the space and the control of our nursing relationship. I set some boundaries, I only nurse at bedtimes and wake ups (4 times a day), and sometimes less or more depending on our happenings of the day. Nursing her became then enjoyable again, a special mommy-only time that I treasure. I believe Child Led Weaning can be a beautiful thing, and I plan to continue nursing as long as it works for both of us (and my family as a whole). But it is okay to be done, feel like it is no longer a good thing, or even need to cut down on the number of feeds. It is OKAY! And Good! And as a mother, I will give myself that space for a healthy relationship with my child, whether that means nursing or not.
Mother’s discontinue breastfeeding for many reasons. We will all come to a point where we no longer are nursing, and there needs to be healthy talk about those times of transitions. They can be emotional, stressful, confusing, and physically difficult (your hormones might go crazy!). We hope that your time nursing ends in a joyful, peaceful way that benefits both mother and child. If you are struggling with your breastfeeding journey, please contact us. We have amazing Lactation Consultants and trusted support resources for breastfeeding moms, lets make breastfeeding work for you and your baby!
Doula and Placenta Encapsulation Specialist in the Fraser Valley, including Abbotsford and Chilliwack